We’re celebrating Disability Pride Month with non-stop disability-related posts on Offbeat Bride’s Facebook and Instagram this week. To kick the week off, we’re sharing Phuong & Regan’s gorgeous modern elegant Texas wedding… wait until you see Phuong’s proud walk down the aisle!
Photos by Chevy Chey Photo and Video
Offbeat partners: Regan & Phuong (aka @wifey_on_wheels)
Our offbeat wedding at a glance:
We went for a modern elegant theme, with the colors of maroon and gold.
Most of my wedding decorations were DIYed by my mother-in-law, including the decorations on my walker. (I have a Kaye walker which is special equipment for people with cerebral palsy, designed to help us with posture and balance.) I bought fake florals from Amazon and bought tulles to decorate my walker and my wedding arch — I didn’t want to spend thousands of dollars on flowers!
At first, I wanted to walk down the aisle holding my parents’ hands — but I changed my mind because I want to be able to walk with more confidence and balance. I feel much better walking with my walker than without.
Since making that choice at my wedding, my confidence and pride about my disability has bloomed. I thought to myself that since my husband loves me the way I am… then I should love myself more, too! I have started to advocate for other disabled individuals, and share my story from that mindset on Instagram at @wifey_on_wheels.
Tell us about the ceremony:
Here’s our ceremony script.
WELCOME
Love is a miraculous gift, and a wedding is a celebration of that gift. We have come here today to celebrate this gift of love, and to add our best wishes and blessings to the words that shall unite Phuong and Regan in the bonds of marriage. What you promise to each other today must be renewed again tomorrow and every day that follows. At the end of this ceremony, legally you will be husband and wife. Still, you must decide each and every day to commit yourselves to one another. Make such a decision, and keep on making it, for the most important thing in life is to love and to be loved.
CONSENT
Who presents Phuong to be married to Regan?
Parents: We do.
Address and Readings
Today you are taking into your care and trust the happiness of the one person in this world whom you love with all your heart. And you are giving yourself, your life, and your love, into the hands of the one who loves you with all their heart. Always remember this, to the whole world, you are but one person, but to one person, you are the whole world.
However, true love goes far beyond the feelings of excitement and romance. It is caring more about the well-being and happiness of your marriage partner than your own needs and your own desires. And true love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction. You see, love makes burdens lighter because you divide them. Love makes joys more intense because you share them. Love makes you stronger so you can become involved with life in ways you dare not risk alone. True love says the two of you are just better together than when you are apart.
When you enter into marriage, you enter into life’s most important relationship. It is a gift given to bring comfort when there is sorrow, peace when there is unrest, laughter when there is happiness, and love when it is shared. But a successful marriage is not something that just happens. It takes work, it takes understanding, and it takes time. Most importantly, it takes a commitment from both of you—a commitment to do whatever it takes to make your relationship thrive and not just simply survive. A good marriage must be nurtured. Listen to these “words of wisdom” on how to create a successful marriage from a little book entitled The Art of Marriage.
The Art of Marriage
The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives; it is facing the world together.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have the wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding, and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is the common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is the establishing of a relationship in which the independence is equal, the dependence is mutual,
and the obligation is reciprocal.
And finally, it is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
Wedding Vows
Regan, please repeat after me:
I, Regan, take you, Phuong, / to be my partner in life. / I promise to walk by your side forever, / and to love, help, and encourage you / in all that you do. / I will take time to talk with you, / to listen to you, / and to care for you. / I will share your laughter and your tears / as your partner, lover, and best friend. / Everything I am and everything I have is yours / now and forevermore.
Phuong, please repeat after me:
I, Phuong, give myself to you Regan, / on this our wedding day. / I will cherish our friendship, / and love you today, tomorrow, and forever. / I will trust you and honor you. / I will love you faithfully / through the best and the worst, / through the difficult and the easy. / Whatever comes our way, I will be there always. / As I have given you my hand to hold, / so I give you my life to keep.
Tell us about the reception:
We had our first dance. Then my husband and his mom danced, he also danced with his sisters. I didn’t dance as much because of my disability.
After that, we had our meals and played a game with our bridesmaids and groomsmen. The game is musical chairs and they need to find items that the DJ tells them and return to the chairs before the music stops. We went out to take our bride and groom photos after dinner. And we proceeded to do cake cutting after. We did not do Bouquet toss or garter toss. We then ended our reception with a private dance and exit with sparklers.
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding?
The biggest challenge is that we had is to stay within budget. We had taken advice from our families and were trying to accommodate everyone. But in reality, I wish that we would’ve stuck to what we really wanted. We went over the budget that we had and unfortunately did not have enough money for a honeymoon. We had a little bad luck here and there as well — our original venue closing down so we have to book a new one within six months of the wedding date. We should have reinvented the wedding right at that time, but we just booked an even more expensive venue because of availability and just continued with the wedding. The wedding got bigger than what we were planning. Overall, I love my wedding, but I just wish that I could’ve been more firm with what my husband and I wanted from the start — which was a smaller wedding with some leftover money for the honeymoon.
Vendors
Photograph: Chevy Chey Photography
DJs: All Access DJ DFW
